So Close

Last week I returned to the trapeze rig for the first time in over a year. It was a thrilling confirmation that I can still do activities I like to do, even with an infant. Thanks to my fabulous husband for being a highly participatory dad.

I opted to spend the lesson working on getting my swing going again. Head trapeze artist Russell suggested that I try a new trick– a full-time straight jump– that requires focusing on the timing of the swing. By the end of the lesson, things were clicking and Russell was able to catch me on my very first attempt.

Today I returned to the rig, sore hands and sore body. I continued to practice my swing, making a few technical, body-position changes, and it started to feel so much better. I moved on to the straight jump, and that trick started to feel much more natural. (Well, as natural as it can feel to hurtle yourself at another person while you’re both high above the earth.) I was ready to try the catch.

In two attempts, I was able to touch hands with the catcher Kenny. But I was not able to complete the catch. This is where I remind myself that it is the catcher’s responsibility to catch me. And, just like in life, you can put all kinds of preparation into a project, but ultimately we rarely have full control.

As much as I want to be caught every time, I’m choosing to focus on the improvements I made today. I’m also reveling in how good it feels to do something for myself, apart from my family commitments. And while I may be more sore than I wish I was post-lesson, taking time for myself to do something physically and mentally engaging reminds me that I can, in fact, continue to take on new challenges.

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