So Close

Last week I returned to the trapeze rig for the first time in over a year. It was a thrilling confirmation that I can still do activities I like to do, even with an infant. Thanks to my fabulous husband for being a highly participatory dad.

I opted to spend the lesson working on getting my swing going again. Head trapeze artist Russell suggested that I try a new trick– a full-time straight jump– that requires focusing on the timing of the swing. By the end of the lesson, things were clicking and Russell was able to catch me on my very first attempt.

Today I returned to the rig, sore hands and sore body. I continued to practice my swing, making a few technical, body-position changes, and it started to feel so much better. I moved on to the straight jump, and that trick started to feel much more natural. (Well, as natural as it can feel to hurtle yourself at another person while you’re both high above the earth.) I was ready to try the catch.

In two attempts, I was able to touch hands with the catcher Kenny. But I was not able to complete the catch. This is where I remind myself that it is the catcher’s responsibility to catch me. And, just like in life, you can put all kinds of preparation into a project, but ultimately we rarely have full control.

As much as I want to be caught every time, I’m choosing to focus on the improvements I made today. I’m also reveling in how good it feels to do something for myself, apart from my family commitments. And while I may be more sore than I wish I was post-lesson, taking time for myself to do something physically and mentally engaging reminds me that I can, in fact, continue to take on new challenges.

Embracing Change

2010 was quite a year for my family.

My husband quit his job of 12.5 years with no further employment lined up. Instead, we took our kids on an eight-week trip. It was early in that adventure that we found out about our Stowaway baby…now just three weeks away from her due date. Instead of spending part of my summer vacation drawing up a new business plan to take advantage of the greater time I was planning on working once The Monkey goes to Kindergarten in August, I was thinking about how my business was going to adapt when I have a newborn again. In some ways, life is far more complex than it was 4.5 years ago when The Monkey was born and The Bear (nearly age 3) became a big brother. The boys now each have their own friends and activities, and my attention is needed for school projects and carpools. On the other hand, my boys can take themselves to the bathroom, get themselves dressed, and they can even pour their own cereal and make PB&J sandwiches. They also play together really well, which has been one of the most exciting developments of the past year.

This autumn, my husband created meaningful work for himself: he started a business and is working as a consultant, doing the types of IT work at which he excels. He has a flexible schedule and retains his work-from-home arrangement that is so important to our family. Sure, it’s risky and uncertain in this economy to strike out alone, but we’ve learned that seeking out opportunity and taking advantage of it– when it fits in with our family’s life– is what we really value.

So, as I sit here at the beginning of 2011 and think about what the year ahead is going to look like, I’m hoping to continue to embrace change as my family, my business, and I all enter a new phase.

Knowing When to Say When

I will never forget the look on the woman’s face as I jogged through Kensington Gardens on August 3, 2003. She pointed at me and shouted, “What are you doing, darling?”

I’m guessing this lovely English lady had never before seen a pregnant woman jogging on her due date.

Fair enough, I suppose, but I felt fantastic. Physically, the pregnancy had been very easy. Continuing my running– albiet at a slower pace and in shorter distances– gave me mental strength. There was no reason for me to abandon my running just because I was pregnant.

(In the interest of full disclosure, I will tell you that that run was my final run of my first pregnancy. In the week that followed before The Bear made his journey into this world, there was a massive heat wave in London. I didn’t think it was smart to run in the extreme heat when I wasn’t conditioned to do so.)

With my second pregnancy, I ran until 28 weeks. I had some pain in my shins, and it just didn’t feel so great to run anymore. While I was disappointed to leave the running shoes behind so early (relatively) in the pregnancy, I continued with walking and yoga several times a week to maintain my fitness.

Now, here I am nearly 27 weeks pregnant with Number 3, and I think the time is near. Running has become less comfortable. I’m certainly larger at this point than I was with the other two, and that doesn’t help make running easier. Also, most of my runs involve me pushing The Monkey in the BabyJogger, which means my stride is compromised and my upper body can’t help on the hills. While I’m still doing some running, the amount of walking during those outings is certainly increasing.

I’d rather stop while I still feel good. I always urge my clients to listen to their bodies and act accordingly. I’m going to take my own advice, and after a final run (by myself) this weekend, I’m going to hang up my running shoes for a while.

Thinking Happy Thoughts

I’ve been working consciously lately to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. I’ll be honest: as a natural-born cynic, this does not come easy for me. But after seeing how many people go through life either crabby or blowing sunshine, I’ve come to understand that being happy is a choice.

We live in a hyper-critical society. Being happy is not the norm. It’s no wonder so many people focus on their shortcomings rather than their successes. I am encouraging my clients to reframe the way they view their fitness progress by making positive statements. Rather than thinking “my stomach is still flabby even after six weeks of hard work”, it is much more rewarding to consider “I can do twice as many crunches in one minute as I could just six weeks ago!” Celebrating strengths rather than dwelling on weaknesses generates a spirit of positivism that affects not only the person with whom it originates but everyone with whom that person comes in contact. Powerful!

I am giving myself a real challenge and have decided that being grateful (happy’s older, more sophisticated and wise sister) is an important part of my overall wellness. Recognizing the sources of my happiness and acknowledging it/them for the goodness they bring to my life improves my overall wellness. With this attitude of gratitude, I feel unstoppable. And the more goodness I acknowledge, the more goodness I see. Again, powerful!

I challenge you to think–right now–about five people for whom you are grateful. Write down their names. And in the next 24 hours, call, email, text, or Facebook those people and let them know how important they are to you. In doing so you will not only make their day, but you’ll be cultivating a generous sense well-being for yourself. I dare you to tell me it does not lighten your heart and change your outlook on life.

Good health and great happiness to you.

Why I hate “bootcamps”

Despite the huge-and-growing popularity of bootcamps as a group fitness option, I must admit that I hate that term. For me, the image of a bootcamp includes a sergeant who is a) shouting, b) in your face, and c) trying to make you hurt. I certainly understand why the military uses this form of communication, but what I don’t understand is why so many civilians find this style motivating.

Since I’m being honest here, I’ll say that the very last thing I want to do at 6am (or any other time) is yell. Maybe I’m lazy; maybe I’m the one who needs a kick in the pants. Or maybe I’m cut from a different mold. While some people may find it motivating to be hollered at, I find it demeaning. I believe that if you need to be yelled at to exercise, your issues are far greater than what I am capable of handling within the bounds of my profession.

So how can I be a results-driven trainer who expects her clients to put forth quality effort every class or session? Easy. I believe that people who get up in the wee hours of the morning to arrive at a 6am circuit training class (please, oh please do NOT call it a bootcamp!) are already motivated. All I have to do is encourage them– give positive cues, offer affirmations when appropriate, and comment on achievements– and my participants and clients motivate themselves. And isn’t that a better benchmark of wellness? When we don’t need someone in our face to bark commands because the desire to succeed comes from within?!

Many of my class participants have commented that it is because of my kinder, more positive approach that has contributed to their adherance to the class. They come back because of the variety of workouts (which are programmed in the same interval style as hard-core bootcamps), the comeraderie of the class community, and the fitness results that they continue to see month-after-month. I want my participants to feel valued. After all, helping people find ways to integrate exercise into their lives on a daily basis for their whole life is at the heart of why I am a personal trainer.

If you’ve been looking for a place where your fitness level will be honored and your achievements celebrated, please do join us. I promise a friendly face, a smile, and cheering using my inside voice.

Good health and great happiness to you.

High-Flying Friends

Last Sunday, I had the joy of watching one of my oldest and best friends take her first trapeze lesson. M was a willing participant, but she admitted to me on the drive to the Trapeze Experience rig that she was a bit nervous. She was in good hands, though, as our facilitators Russell, Spencer, and Gary are fantastic with new flyers. While M took her ground lesson, I headed up to the platform to being my swing and layout practice.

M struggled a bit on her first attempt at the knee hang, but by her third try she had it perfect. Shortly thereafter, Gary climbed up into the catchtrap, and the next thing M knew she had successfully completed her first mid-air transfer on the flying trapeze! It was so exciting for her; it was also exciting for me, though, to see her feel the thrill of flying. After several other successful catches, M learned a new trick on her very first day.

To make the experience even better, our class was the final session at which “Uncle Tony” Steele was facilitating. A legend in the trapeze world, Uncle Tony has been flying since he was a child. He is the greatest living trapeze artist, having trained people from everyday folks like me to circus performers to celebrities to stuntpeople. Uncle Tony told some pretty corny jokes, but his enthusiasm for trapeze– and sharing his knowledge with others– was infectious. It was also pretty amazing to see him, at age 74, still throw a double back flip.

My lesson for the day came not so much in my work on the trapeze– it was a rather poor day for me, actually– but in my head and heart. From M I learned how fulfilling it can be to watch someone learn something new. Certainly I get that lesson regularly from my kids, but to see an adult tackle a new challenge is equally rewarding. And to see Uncle Tony still doing what he loves with such grace and power and fun is inspirational. It was a full body-mind sense of happiness, completeness, and exhaustion at the end of the lesson.

Is there anything better than sharing something you love with someone you love? I think not.

Just what I NIA’d

When I woke up this morning (at 2am, 3am, 4am, and then 5am for the day), I wasn’t convinced it was going to be a great day. I was a less-than-my-usually-cheery-self during my early morning workout class, which was especially unfortunate given the jungle-like humidity my group faced.  They were inspirational (and perspirational) in their dogged determination to complete the workout.

I dashed home after class, got my 6-year-old ready for first grade, then had a family walk to school. By the time I got home, I had just about 40 minutes before needing to take the 3-year-old to preschool. It was still before 8am, and I was exhausted!

I had the chance to come home after preschool drop-off and have a rare, unspoilt FOUR HOURS to myself. No clients. No husband working at home. Just me and my comfy green sofa.

But I also remembered that today is Dr. Deb Kern’s WILD Women Workout, and after going to only two sessions before, I realized that was just what I needed. Dr. Deb leads a group of women through a NIA workout filled with everything from tai chi moves to pilates poses to all-out cardio jam. Dancing unabashedly in a studio, about twenty women move around the room free from judgement and filled with conviction. The workout is all about connecting with your body, harnessing the power of your mind, and honoring the self.  

I left the workout feeling energized and hopeful.  Thank you, Dr. Deb!

More about Motivation

I must admit that the idea that so many of my friends lack the motivation to exercise has been nagging me for the past few days.  As someone who has always enjoyed exercise, I don’t identify easily with those who don’t like a good workout. 

But as a personal trainer, I continually learn new ways to motivate people based on individual likes, dislikes, needs, and wants.  I have a standard list of questions I ask my clients when starting to develop a fitness program for them.  Maybe they’ll be useful to those of you who need a little push to get going.  Finding out how you think about health and fitness can be an enlightening exercise itself.

• What kinds of exercise do you like?  Dislike?
• Did you ever play on a sports team?  What about that experience was positive/negative?
• Why do you want to be more fit?
• Are you impressed by people who have fit bodies?  Do you judge people who are unfit?
• Do you encourage your children to exercise?
• Does your significant other exercise regularly?
• Where do you place health & fitness in your list of *idealized* priorities?  Where does it fit in reality?
• Do you think your attitude toward fitness affects other parts of your life?
• Does your fitness level hold you back from doing activities you’d like to do?
• How do you feel before a big workout?  Afterwards?
• Have you ever regretted making & taking time to exercise?
• Do you deserve time (and money) to make your body healthier?

Think about it.  Be honest with yourself.  Finding out the real reasons you lack motivation to exercise may help you open new paths in other parts of your life as well.

Good health and great happiness to you.

End of Season Review

Trapeze season has come to a close for me.  Although the awesome Trapeze Experience guys will be down at the rig through Saturday, due to work and family schedules I’ve taken my last flight of the 2009 Spring Season.

Let me begin by saying that I am only baby steps closer to polishing my trapeze skills than I was six lessons ago, but in a sport that can never really be mastered, baby steps are exciting.  Also, I believe trapeze is a positive experience, so rather than dwell on the many, many places I can improve, I want to review what I’ve done well this season.

• My Swing.  Wow.  So! Much! Better!  I am better able to maintain my height for longer, and I don’t get nearly as tired each flight.  Becoming more efficient makes swinging way easier.
• Back End Tricks.  They’re improving.  I still can’t confidently do the back-end splits to a catch, but my straddle whip is feeling really good.
• Layout.  Possibly the most fun trick I’ve tried.  It’s all in the timing, and I can finally feel the ‘stall’ that is critical to catching the layout reliably. 
• Recovery Time.  I stretched better before each class, and I implemented my own post-class stretching routine.  By doing so, my recovery time has shortened to almost nothing.  I’m now beginning to understand how a 5-day intensive workshop could be really, really fun.

Between now and September, I have two trapeze-related goals to achieve: 1) I’m going to continue the strength training routine I’ve developed to keep my shoulders and lats strong.  2) I’m also going to do the monkey bars at the playground with The Bear to keep my hands in shape.  I have some lovely callouses worked up, and it would be a shame to have to break in my hands again in the fall.

My thanks to Russell, Spencer, and Charlie for their patience with me this season.  I appreciate your constructive criticism and friendliness.  If everyone had as much passion about their work as you guys, the world would be a better place.

And although this isn’t the world’s most beautiful layout, it sure was fun. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLOLYBVACXk

Banishing Negative Self-Talk

We all do it.  Even those of us who try to live conscious, positive lives.  It is such a part of our society that we often don’t even realize we’re doing it until someone calls us on it.

Last week I was at my trapeze lesson, and after climbing the ladder I was atop the platform awaiting help to attach the harness cables.  I was chatting with one of my instructors, telling her about how my recent lessons had been exercises in frustration.  After making initial progress learning the trapeze quite quickly, I’d seemed to have hit a wall.  She encouraged me to think positively, focus on what I was doing correctly, and realize that trapeze is a subtle yet complicated art and sport to master.

When I got down to the ground after fairly successfully completing my trick, I heard two of my classmates talking.  They, too, were discussing the learning curve of trapeze– which is surprisingly shallow at first–and how it’s only after your confidence is built up that you start to learn the swing and other ‘back end’ tricks that bring your progress to a screetching halt.  We were sharing stories of frustration, reveling in our common misery.  As we talked, we became more and more critical ourselves and the skills we were practicing.

Another instructor heard our whining and asked why we were being so self-critical.  After all, hadn’t we all just begun learning trapeze a few months ago?  Couldn’t we see how much we had learned?  Why weren’t we embracing the power and creativity and freedom and just plain fun that trapeze is?  Certainly we should strive to improve our skills, but how was the negative self-talk helping anything?

It wasn’t.  And I’m now working hard to banish it.  Fun is far more important than perfection.